Before every meal, at Wat's behest/indication, we all take a minute or so to recenter ourselves. I've encountered meditation before in WWOOF/hippie/community settings before and elsewhere, and I generally (mis)use the time trying to identify ambient noise, or silently singing a song, or doing something else to avoid the mentally strenuous work of clearing my mind of active thoughts. But maybe now I've found a new starting point.
As you may have seen in Pete's comment, our Pomona classmate Sheri Sangji has died in what seems to be an incalculably, complexly tragic accident. Sheri and I worked as RAs together, but I don't feel it is my place to say anything on behalf of Sheri, or our friendship, or the World Without Sheri. All I can do is speak for myself, and right now that means acknowledging how profoundly blessed I am: to have the privilege to travel like this, to have the warmth of kind hosts like ours, to have the support of a partner like mine, to have the love of family and friends at home, and to have five senses, and breath in my lungs, and a beat in my heart.
How awful that grief is so often our reminder to live.
<3
Kyle
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As Darryl Smith would say--it's a tutelary devil.
ReplyDeleteAm re-reading stuff from that class, and found this: "enjoying the least things - a chill glass of water, a moment of play with the cat, the sight of sunlight caught in the frost spangling the locust twigs - is a form of prayer." It's stuck in my mind as I contemplate converting to Islam, because so much of my unexamined assumptions of religion revolve around literalizations of its various components. For example: that prayer is like a phone call, that God is, essentially, a bearded Zeus in my mind's eye.
But the extent to which your words about blessings qualify as religion, religious, or spiritual, I dig. Transcendence and gratitude matter.
Thank you for sharing your reaction. The past few days have been rough, and you put into words what I've been trying to express to myself and to Zahra. Namely, there is and are beauty and blessings in living, but this as been hard to say it and not sound selfish, or dismissive of her death. You acknowledge the tragedy and the way forward with respect for each.